Chapter 1: So Much More Aware
Crumbling inside whatever we were
In whatever painted life we had going
Its always him moving fucking mountains
Growing a set, being in the public
I’m alone...
I don’t wanna know anything, but I sit here and stay longer
Just for that time when I used to be
Someone who had something, maybe somebody would just see
He ruined my chances of a life, he failed me
A friend I only had dreamed about, as are the rest, I never had doubts
My eyes, blue, green, yellow, they see, but really they are just blue to me
I know its embarassing to believe such a lie
Incensitive, strangled, breathing upon to die
I don’t understand how people sometimes are so forgetful
I wished I could be more than what I put out
I am happy, you see, but really you don’t know the pain I am
This is turning into something I choose not to talk about freely
People see what they see
Feel what they feel
They don’t really care for me, do they?
Casting asiding my careless faults, the only lonely spitful way
I was smart, I used to be good
I can still speak, shocking, something I can actually still could