"Why are you upset? What did
she do?"
For once, it wasn't her who did anything. She turned her head ignoring the
question. What was she going to do? She can't trust a celebrity. They ruin
everything. Why did he have to show up? Everything was fine until
he did. It wasn't fair, she didn't have to trust anyone and it was great.
Well, kind of.
"Dude, what's wrong? Seriously, what?" Brittany's voice sounded worried.
Keira sighed, "I'll tell you when we get to you
place."
"I'm here for you OK? If she said something to you again, you're staying
over. I hate when you're like this you know?"
"Yeah, I'll tell you everything when we get there."
"Aight." Again, through one ear and out the other. The only other person
I feel really listens is Justin. Its not fair. It's just not fair. Why does
he have to be so perfect? Thank god I got away before I found out all that
stuff was a lie. But if it was a lie, why did I feel he was different? OK,
I'm crazy.
They reached Brit's house and got out walking to the door. Keira sprinted
inside and ran up to her friends room. She had a feeling she was being followed.
Brittany came behind her out of breathe.
"Dude, what's with the ADHD?"
Keira collapsed on her friends bed and closed her eyes sighing, "Just felt
like running."
Brittany plopped down next to her and began to
stare, "What's up?"
She shrugged, "I'm just tired. The last couple days were
weird. I feel like I'm being followed."
"By who?"
"I don't know, someone I don't wanna see." The doorbell rang
and startled both girls.
Keira stared at Brit, "Your brother forget his key?"
Brit rolled her eyes, "Perhaps. He always does this to bother us. And mom
still let's his ass Kato here."
"Jerk, that's why I'm an only child and that's
why I love it."
"Bitch."
"Hoe."
"Skank."
"Cunt."
The doorbell rang twice and Brit turned to Keira, "I'll get it. I'll make
sure to threw it at his face."
Keira laughed, "Please do. I'm so sick of him."
"Be back." Brit left downstairs.
Keira felt weird laying on the bed suddenly. She got up and looked at herself
in the mirror. She heard footsteps and turned to the door as Brit calmly
walking back. Keira's eyebrows knotted together, "Who was it?"
Brit shrugged and looked at the hallway, "She's
in here."
Keira gaped at her friend , "What the hell? What's going on?"
Than she saw him. Shit. She quickly ran in the bathroom locking the door
slamming her back against it.
"Open up!" he yelled.
She stayed quiet, plugging her ears. Vivid memories of the past came back
as tear cascaded down her cheeks.
She heard him take a breath and blow out, "Keira please. I'm trying to control
myself here. Why do you keep running? What, is it me? Tell me what the hell
I did to make you so angry to make you push me so much? I thought things were
cool. Please, Keira, please, open the door."
She choked back a sob and covered her face releasing more unorthodox sounds.
She tied her hair behind her head and softly banged her hand in anger against
the door. No, she can't cry, but it was too damn late. Everything happened
so fast. She had no control over it. She started dry heaving suddenly. Her
breathing was ecstatic. She had no control and soon she was pouring out unbridled
song of her life.
"Baby, what's going on? I can't help if you don't tell me? Please, I'm here
for you," he actually sounded a bit teary in that last one.
Here for me?! Fucking here for me?! Ugh! Like I'm gonna take that shit
just like that. He can beg all the fuck he wants and I'm staying here. I
can't take this anymore! I can't, I'm through with life. I'm through with
it all. That's it, I'm done living. I'd rather be dead than have shit constantly
thrown my way. He's just pretending I shouldn't listen. He's nothing like
me. He can have anyone and she has no one. This is so unfair! Fuck! I'm going
crazy here. What does he really want from me? What? I'm not beautiful, I fail
my classes in school, I don't love myself. What does he see in me? I just
want to know once and for all.
She wiped her eyes and stood up staring at the
door, "Why?"
"Keira, please open. I'm not going to hurt you."
She screamed very loud, "That's what they all say. All that shiit they feed
me. What the fuck? Why are you trying to break me? Nothing is going to hurt
me again! GOT THAT!"
Justin breathed out. Collecting his thoughts carefully before he spoke softly.
"But I will not be one them that will
do that. Please, come on."
"I can't take that chance, don't you see? I've worked so hard in not feeling
and I've been fine. I don't need this added on too! Just leave me alone."
He sighed, both hands on the sides of the door,
"I don't want to do this but I will tell your mom. Please come out."
He heard the door unlock and unhatched revealing a very fatigued and dired
girl. Red-eyed and faced. She pushed past him and ran down the stairs. She
knows if her mom found out, she'd get it worse than last time. She ran to
his car and leaned up against the passenger door. Justin was so confused,
he didn't really think that would work as it did. But hell, it did and that's
all he cared about. He nodded an apology to Brit and walked downstairs and
made his way toward his car.
"Keira I'm sorry I yelled at you I just -- "
she held up her hand.
"Let's just go back already. I got shit to do." She opened the door and
along with him and he started driving.
The radio was playing soft music. Perfect. Just perfect. More music to make
her feel like utter shit in this world.
You're everything I ever know
When you smile my face always seems to glow
You turned my life around,
you picked me up when I was down
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
She reached out and angrily changed it to a random station. Oh just wonderful.
More guilt.
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
Once again, she changed it just as an angry song played. Well, it was better
than the last two. The last thing she needs is Avril and Kc & JoJo telling
her that what she's doing is wrong. But, shit! Love or happiness doesn't really
happen like this. Can people change? Are their actually people who do look
at you and just fuck everyone else? No way. That kind of thing happens in
fairytales. Stop dreaming. Life is not a song.
The song on the radio stopped and up came the DJ, "Hey hey, this is JoJo
with the Top 5 at 5 and that was Linkin Park with their current shiz which
kicks it off the hook! Next we got Marlyn from Burbank with a song she wants
to be heard. Dudes lemme tell ya this song is the now! I love this one. Hoobastank
on 102.7 KissFM."
Keira's lips pressed together. She wanted to reach over and change or break
the radio at that moment. She was glued to her seat. She couldn't move. Paralyzed
by the hope and words of the breeze in the truth.
I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thetas why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
and the reason is You
and the reason is You
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
When the song ended there was nothing to move. Everything ended. Keira couldn't
admit that. She didn't want it to be him to ruin her life like the others.
It was simply, hate the ones you want to trust. Not so hard. Keep your head
high. Ignore all real advances. Yeah, that's how life was going to be. No
man can change that. Nobody will break that vow. She was in that
mindset. It was save yourself and fight the world. Of course.
Mother fucked everything for her.
Speaking of the devil. There she was when they arrived at the house with
deranged new toy. Justin glanced at the window, "Shit, she came back early."
Keira looked back at him blankly. It didn't matter. Looking at him won't
solve her problems. She opened the door and climbed out shutting it, never
looking back. Operation ignore Pop star commenced at will.