Chapter 22: Try To Love Again

The ride home was so silent. The sound of breathing was the only notice in the vehicle. Keira folded her arms across her chest and pouted. The whole outing was ruined. She couldn't look at him and him her. They had brought all her clothes in the car. Lonnie was sitting in the back wondering what the hell was going on. Silence was growing on him as well.

He suddenly popped his knuckles earning a gasp from Keira. If there's anything more annoying its bones popping. She could just tell him to stop but she remained tightlipped. She was slightly scared of Justin because he looked like he was concentrating really hard on the road.

The radio was left on KOST 103.5. Keira glanced at the clock it read 7:48 and that only means one thing. Love songs on the cost. Oh god no. I gotta change it. He looks really mad though. I gotta change it somehow. I can't handle love songs now. Not when I'm so confused. She couldn't do anything and she hated it. She felt as if Justin would hit her if she touched anything. She had to keep quiet. The song playing just confused her even more. She wasn't sure what to believe. Was she thinking about him? Ugh she hates this. All it brought was sadness and more confusion.

She licked her lips and exhaled. Why? WHY was it her? She can't do this. She can't do this to him. It would ruin everything. He's four years older. She only hopes a friendship was still there but its hard. Its hard when you've fallen. Fallen hard. Everything about him seemed perfect. Her eyes made a small journey from his chin, those lips, his cheeks, lastly, those eyes. She loved his eyes.

She pushed her lips together and ground her teeth. He was mad. He was mad and it was her fault. She tore her eyes away and closed them softly. She was a failure. Everything she did just fucked with other peoples' lives. Her world was falling all around her. She was still scared. Scared that Madison will come for her.

She can't be scared forever. She's always scared and that really annoyed her. She looked down at her hands in her lap. They still seemed beaten. She suddenly had flashes from 3 days ago. It was nonstop. She willed her mind to skew away from it. She can't remember that now. Hopefully something good will come. Soon. She's sick and tired of being depressed.

She picked up her head as he pulled into the driveway. He killed the engine and unbuckled while Keira sat still. She wasn't sure if she should move at all. Her face was blank and uncontrolled. She watched him open his door and slowly get out. He didn't close the door though. He turned around propped his hand on the roof of the car. He let out a few small calm breathes.

He wet his lips and looked at her profile, "You hungry I'm starved."

Was it safe? What was he gonna do? Man, why was she so scared? She nodded and looked in his eyes, "Yeah."

He smiled and gestured for her to get out, "Come on than."

She silently unbuckled and climbed out her side shutting the door. She shyly put her hands in her pockets walking behind him. She watched him scan the fridge and couldn't help looking at his a'ss. Hey, it was there. Of all the times to be horny. She looked away and leaned against the soft couch.

She hugged her shoulders sighing. Justin's house was so amazing. If she could, she could spend the rest of her life just looking at it. It was full of beauty. He sure had a good decorator. She sat on the corner of the couch and played with her draw string pants. The ones he bought her today. Along with the top and denim jacket. She was so caught up in what she was doing she negated to see Justin knelling next to her.

"Angel? Keira, look at me?" he whispered.

Her eyes opened. Tracing his. She was still afraid of him so she did what he said. His hand caressed her cheek calmly as his tongue wet his lips, "Wanna go somewhere nice?"

Her mouth pursed together a little, "Nice?"

"Yeah, I know a couple places. What do ya say?"

"I guess. OK." she gave a thin smile.

"Cool, hey I'm gonna go get ready. Go take a shower and pick out something we got at the mall. See ya in a bit," he slowly stood up and walked upstairs.

Keira sat on the cushion of the couch and began looking in the many bags that lay on the coffee table and floor. She had never seen so many clothes in her life. She took the bag in front of her and pulled out some jeans. They were slightly flare and low cut. She thought they were too revealing for her eyes but Justin really liked them so they got 3 pairs at Guess. They also went to Neman Marcus and got 4 really awesome tops. Two sleeveless and two blouses. She really liked the beige one. It made nice with her bust. Although the cut was a little short. She didn't care. Justin liked that one too.

She liked the smell of the fabrics. They all smelled of some kind of citrus with some other substance she couldn't put her finger on. She heard the shower go on upstairs. Just how many sex-obsessed girls would dream of sneaking a peek at JT's long arm of the law? She's damn horny again! Man, she needs a release. Well, she wouldn't mind if she was just "accidentally" browsing around for the bathroom in his castle just to take a slight gander at what she's just a tad curious.

Hey no harm if it was a mistake. Surely. She smiled as she walked up the stairs and made her way toward the shower. Not too bright of course, leaving the door slightly ajar. She pushed the door more open and hid on the side watching the blurry figure bath himself in the warm water. Steam flying everywhere as everything got hot, including Keira.

She watched his backside as he drenched his face with the showerhead. Jeez, what she would give to be that hand feeling downstairs. She bit the inside of her lip while her right hand unconsciously slipped in her underwear, paralyzing her desires. She closed her eyes, playing her insides. Her fingers slipped inside and dug deeper. Her eyes quietly opened as three fingers penetrated her depts. She hadn't felt this relieved in a long time. She suddenly heard the shower turn off just as she was about to cum and removed her hand, watching for him.

The door opened and out he came. Him and all. Her eyes were about ready to rip off. Shit he was just... wow. Flashbacks from 4th grade anatomy came back. That video where it shows a male penis for educational purposes. This thing didn't do justice. For sure, granted, she knows what they look like, but as far as being a witness to the real thing, she was clueless. She's never seen one this close or one at all. He could really hurt someone with that thing. Seriously. And she almost had to suck that thing. That still scares her until this day.

He wrapped a towel around his waste, depriving the small audience of the view. Damn, well she got a good look at. She saw him grab the shaving cream and squirt some into his palm. He lathered it onto his stubble, pulled out a razor, and started shaving.

She got bored and knocked on the door. She heard him say come in and she came in and closed the door, "Hey."

He rinsed the razor and shaved a slow stroke, "Hey, why aren't you getting ready?"

She looked anywhere but his chest for obvious reasons, "Um, well uh I wanted to ask you where the bathroom to another shower was since you were here. Its OK."

He shaved the last bit and rinsed the razor and his face. He turned around to dry off and faced her, "I'll go get you a towel. Go ahead and start."

"Oh OK." as soon as he left she took off her clothes and got in the shower.

She turned on the hot water and blended it with some cool water. She soaked her hair and closed her eyes. She began thinking. Thinking about this new start. Everything's on a different track now. Things were moving so fast. So fast and better. Much better than the hand she was dealt with before. She was growing up. She felt it. She believed it as she washed away the dirt from her life.

25 minutes later of thorough cleaning she hoped out and wrapped the towel that Justin had laid on the toilet around her drenched body. She suddenly didn't feel like going anywhere now. Her mind was really tired and she felt like staying put. She blew out some air and closed her eyes. She opened them and glared at the girl in mirror. After a day like today it was hard to except her. Really accept. She breathes for any kind of answer to her confused queries. Dammit it was hard. It was hard because you can't believe something that hasn't been there since you can't remember. The only person who understood and hugged that girl was removed and never heard from again. Sad. But hey, you can't do nothing.

Her hands rubbed her face as she went downstairs to find some clothes. She found some stuff and went back up to the bathroom to put them on. Nothing big, just a blue tank with flare guess trousers. She grabbed a comb and ran it through her wet tresses. Her eyes had bags under them. She wasn't getting any rest but she didn't care. He's taking her out, she should be lucky. She should be kissing his god damned feet for all he's done. He's perfect. He's beautiful and everything she asks for before he entered. When he came it was something different. Something that can never define in speech. He was more than her life. She could give it up tomorrow just for him. It wasn't too difficult to comprehend really. It just was. It was simple. She would die for him. Wait. What? Oh no, its true! She would. She would lay the heart she carried to sleep for his safety.

She was breathing hard. What hell was this? She couldn't breathe. The clothes weren't that tight. What the hell was happening? Justin. She needs him. Right now. No time. Everything's spinning. She needs comfort. She needs strength. She needs to love him. Wait... what?!

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