Chapter 23: Are You  There Love, Its Me... Keira

"I can't be in love. No way, its too fast. I barely know him. I barely know myself. But why? God, tell me why do I feel this way? I can't. I shouldn't ruin this. He's given me a chance and I'm not gonna fuck it up," she walked down the stairs and went towards the living room.

She slipped on her 2" heels and looked around for Justin. He was nowhere downstairs so she went back up and the searched the many rooms starting with the room on the right. It was closed so she knocked. "Justin?"

"Yeah, Keira, in here," she heard him call somewhere near her.

"Where's here?" she looked around.

"My room, here," she saw a hand push open the door on her left and walked to it.

She stepped and saw he was dressed in a white wife beater and boxers. He was in his closet searching for something to wear. Every inch of this man was beauty to her. She watched as a water droplet drizzled from his neck to his shoulder in grace. She pried her eyes away. His back was aching for her hands. She wanted her lips touching his sculpted back. All over. She could feel herself getting hot at the thought surely.

She thought of something suddenly, than closed her mouth. She rolled her eyes and began, "Hey Justin?"

He stopped what he was doing and turned around, "Yeah? Something wrong?"

She tucked some invisible hair behind her ears and swallowed hard, "Can I ask you something?"

He smiled softly as he sat on the bed, "Anything."

She sat on the place he padded on, as her eyes gazed around aimlessly, "Do you really want to go out?"

He shrugged, folding a leg beneath him, "I'll go if you want to. I just suggested it... I mean we could hang here and chill or something. What's up? What do you wanna do?"

She looked up and finally stared at him, "I wanna do anything with you."

"Anything? Nah I'm just kidding. But seriously, what would you like to do?" his finger traced her cheek.

She don't know what came over her. Maybe it was the peg of loneliness she smarted with. She lunged herself around his body and gave an earth shattering hug as she buried her face into his warm neck. "Nothing, I just want to stay like this for the rest of my life. Just you... like this... forever."

He felt her lips press against his neck softly as his arms came around her little shape, "I got all the time in the world for you."

She bit her lip and pulled him tighter. "This is crazy, just everything that's happened. No one has cared and you come and do this. I don't think saying thank you is enough. I never felt this alive in my life. You just took me in. I'm not understanding anything,"
 
The back of his hand swept a melody over her cheek, "Without sounding like a cheesy romance novel, I'll always take care of you. I want to be the one to run to."

Than there it was. The doubt. The knowing that something awful will happen no matter what anyone says. What the hell is she doing hugging him anyway? She pulled away from him and stood up rubbing her eyes. They were still tainted by the look in his. It looked too verbose to define really. It held residue of pain from whatever he encountered. He's not ready. She's definitely not ready. She suddenly ran down the hall downstairs and sat on the couch. She closed her eyes and opened them. Is this really her life? A complete stranger harboring her out of nowhere? Why? What's in it for him? What's he really getting out of this? She wasn't sure. She never was. Still confused. Still jaded. Lost. Lonely. Pretty much all the above. It was all getting so exhausting. Living in fear. Scary stuff. You really never know if you're truly safe. It felt like the end.

She covered her face with her hands, sighing into them. Everything was moving rapidly. That's the frightening part really. Its as if the world was a non-stoop rush of water with twists and turns just to fuck with her head. It's been a long time since she felt really at peace with anything. Like really. The one where you can breathe and not have a care in the world who's after you. Keira was born with dreams such as those. If anything, she wishes that was her life. Its hard to believe when pain tends to bite you at every corner.

Trust was almost completely demolished within her bounds. It was hard. It was hard because it was something unachievable. Possibly undesirable. The only fucking thing in the whole planet that she needs and she pushes it away when its offered for her taking. Truthfully, well, she doesn't know if she confides in someone she's known only 9 days ago. She can't love him. What the shit is that? Love. Heh. If only life worked that way. If just only it was so easy to make that choice. Nobody is to be counted on. Everyone has a suspect within their spirit. She hates this part too. We can't just write a story about love. Life won't let it. Too cruel for the taking. It knows which ones to pick and which to leave out good. It knows how to manipulate at will. The cunning believe with every bit of person that they can fight it. Whatever the challenge may be.

You can't fall in love when you hate yourself. Never heard of that one before. She's known for a while now. It just wasn't her calling. Her light had eyes before. Unstarving. Undemented. Oh lord it used to be a part she long be part of. Now it was faded. It lived to the last line. It had cut loose not too long ago. A time when all she had to do was open her eyes and recieved enivitable slashes. It wasn't just the pysical hurt, emotional raised it's hand as well. Times where tears were put to sleep when she had no more to leak from. Those tears were satly and dead.

Her lips were dry but she didn't care. She lost all feeling from them before. Kisses meant nothing. As far as she was concerned they never were present.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked to no one.

"That's what I want to know." she heard his voice next to her whisper and jammed her eyes for another round of her life.

DING!

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