Chapter 26: Low

Keira awake in complete oddness. What the hell? She rubbed her face tiredly, flipping the blanket off herself. She had such a strange dream. Someone actually fell in love with her. Yeah right. She cleared her itchy throat and began to get life in the rest of her body. Her head was screaming weird things suddenly. She shook it annoyingly. Man, she hates headaches.

After all the tired kinks had passed she dragged herself off the bed and went to the dresser mirror. She slept in her clothes it seems. Oh well. Turning on the faucet she started washing her hands. She dried off using the cream colored towel next to her.

That was when she realized something. What the hell happened last night? Did they go? Something big happened and she can't seem to remember just what. Well, no hangover proves that no alcohol was consumed, least from her weary recollection. Loosing her virginity was out as well, she probably couldn't stomach the morning after. What the crap was it?

This was frustrating. Only her. Only this shit can happen. All her answers are pointing to is Justin. Yeah, he would know. Where is he anyway? She walked out of the room closing the door and looked around as she went downstairs. She heard his voice talking to another's. It was wrong to eavesdrop but she didn't want to interrupt him. Sounded important.

Her back was against the corner of the stairs wall as he talked on.

"...can't busy. Yeah, that too. Oh OK, when are you coming? Today? When? Noon? Oh alright. No, I'm cool. Yeah, she's asleep. You'll meet her soon. Nothing, I'm just a little weird today. We'll talk when you get here. OK, alright... OK. Sure. We'll see soon. Depends on Keira. Alright talk you soon. I love you. Bye," he clicked off the phone and placed the ringer in the charger.

Both his hands were kissing the table as he leaned all his weight on it. He didn't know how Keira was gonna handle a visitor. She could barely survive him for a night. He couldn't say no, especially when its the one who gave birth to you. Hopefully everything won't suck when they meet. Its important they get along for obvious reasons.

Keira walked back upstairs and went to the room, sitting on the bed. She hugged her shoulders and unfamiliar tears spilled down suddenly. What the hell was she sad about now? He said 'I love you,' big whoop? Right? Right. Wait a sec... was she jealous again? Well, maybe its his mother or someone in his relation. Even if it wasn't, what could he possibly see in her? Really, what was it? A pity party. Possibly. Her lips pushed together gathering more facts. As god as her witness she wasn't the least bit attractive. Who was she?

Ugh! Not again! Why is everything always so negative all the time? He offered her a new life? What was wrong now? There was always something wrong with her. Her head laid on the pillow slowly. She turned her vision at the pillow infront of her face and crashed into it face first.

What was going to happen? Everything was so stupid and never made sense. When did they ever? She turned to her side and closed her eyes. She was still tired and resting was exactly what the doctor ordered. Yeah, she was going to do that. She got tried to get more comfortable in the bed and pulled the covers on top.

She tried thinking of black, usually that helped her sleep, but than other uninvited thoughts came out of nowhere like how the hell was she gonna explain this to Brit? What happened to her mom when she left? So many other possibilities to consider but now, she needs to stop thinking for once. She hasn't slept a lick of any good rest in nearly a year. Fear had always kept her up. No matter what she did, she couldn't surpass it. She still cannot stand up for herself. Her trust was used and abused far too much. The friends she thought were just that turned out vile and had the gracious audacity to belittle her heart in the while.

There was a girl named Ellen, whom she called a "good soul" at the time. She was laughable, pretty, and has the mind and personality of Kathie Lee. Keira trusted that she would help her. She trusted her life into this girl whom she'd never seen with everything. All her pain, her hurt was added on and she felt so low and crippled to stand. She was a lost person at that time. She still is. There was one time when Ellen asked Keira to come live with her in Wisconsin. Keira was iffy about it and felt it too much onto the new friend she made to take it that far.

Everybody’s talking
But they don’t say a thing
They look at me with sad eyes
But I don’t want the sympathy
Its cool you didn’t want me
Sometimes you can’t go back
Buy why’d you have to go and make a mess like that
Well I just have to say
Before I let go

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
What you did was low

Ellen insisted that she come live with her and she was pretty hopeful about the concept. Everything was cool, things were planned, tickets were bought. All the while Madison just assumed nothing of the obvious boxes piled in her room upstairs. She was barely there half the time.

No I don’t need your number
There’s nothing left to say
Except I never though it’d hurt this much to be sane
My friends are outside waiting
I’ve gotta go

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?

Ellen and Keira would talk about everything. Singing, writing, modeling, and of course Justin. Keira would also rely in a struggling tone her pains of her mom. The things Madison would do. Constantly tease her about her weight, bother her about school, how she can't fail or she'll be kicked out because she "hooked" for the finance. Obviously. Her boy toys were all loaded, she made sure of that one. All the while trying to make it through the rain of the days, she spent chatting with Ellen.

Keira had genuinely liked her. She had awesome personality. The one where you're honest without hurting the other's feelings. Oh Lord, how wrong that fact was. What Keira didn't figure out was that she was being played. Ellen used her in a ruse for her own sick pleasure. She had bought her a ticket and everything was set until... well one word... Madison. Oh yes, Madison Perry had right in front of Keira, talked down Ellen's mom. She was forced to listen to every insult that spilled from her mouth. The way she spoke had frightened her. When she talks like that she means whatever she's doing. Doing the prime word here.

As soon as Keira had got back to the place, she was so trapped. Still lost again. She saw the bottle of adderal speed she keeps in her nightstand and opened the bottle. Than at that moment, she remembered what Ellen said. At the last minute before Madison had barked her insults at Shelby, Ellen's mother, she had given her number to her just in case anything happened to herself. She remembered that she trusted Ellen and that she was helping her so she owes her to call her and tell her everything is OK.

Fat chance. She must have literally dialed that number so many times she could recite it verbatim in her sleep. She was beyond mad. She was damn as fuck serious. She's never felt so alone in her life on that night. Ellen was her only friend and she let her down in the most disgusting way anyone could. She spat ugly comments at her like she was spam. Trash. Everything she despised in the world.

I walk out of this darkness
With no sense of regret
And I go with a clear conscious
We both know that you can’t say that
Rest assured
For all the time I loved you so…
Oh...

Keira hadn't spoken to her for 3 days. She was so mad. Everything was getting worse so she ignored everyone, not that Madison counted but still, when she was there Keira wouldn't even look in her direction and just do her homework. Keira had had enough, she was gonna tell this bitch one and for all that she deserves to know how ungrateful and rude she was for pretending to believe in her and kicked her right when she was down. She confronted her in an instant message just wanting to know her reason for doing this to and she had that divine right after all she's been through. At first, Ellen was peeved like someone had injected her with some annoying dememory serum and had acted like nothing was wrong.

This pissed Keira off even moreso than she was already. First the stupid bitch had ruined my life by not agreeing to help her escape her, and now she was saying things like "you need to help yourself before I can help you" and "your problems are not my problems."

Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
What you did was low
Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
When the truth came out
Were you the last to know?
Were you left out in the cold?
What you did was low
Have you ever been low?
Have you ever had a friend that let you down so?
Cuz what you did was low

Keira fucking cried because she had really lost her there. Really, that was all. She was alone again. Until Justin that is. So far, he's been trying to show her something. But hey, its been a week and a half. Anything can happen. Anything can happen now. But somehow, even thought she doesn't want to believe him, she needs him.

He has that stare about him. That true, unraveling light that sheers through him. He said he believes in her, maybe that's true. She wants it to be true. God, she does. She's falling in love with how much he's already done for her. Wait... what is she saying? She totally needs him. He's pure. He's the soft petal gliding down her cheeks. She needs him now. She needs to talk to him now.

She sprung up from the bed with wet tears and ran downstairs bumping into something hard and found two arms reaching out to hold her steady. She looked up and melted within the warmth. It was time, she's fallen too hard to quit now, "I need to tell you something."

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