Chapter 27: I am Free

They walked to his room and sat on his bed. Silence took over for 30 seconds. Keira took a breathe while Justin stared generously and waited for her to tell him when she was ready. She tucked her bottom lip in biting it strangely as her right leg curled upward in a more comfortable less construed position.

She let out a breath softly as her hands came over her face. She found it hard to look at him now. She would do this with anyone but its felt much harder with him.

It was now or never. She has to tell him about Ellen. She never told anyone and keeping that in only made days worse. She was stuck. With her eyes closed she took in a deeper breath. Her hands slowly revealed her eyes as words filled the enviable. "I'm not well. I'm really sorry but I'm not. Don't expect me to be anything but cut up because that is who I am. People made me tha-"

She paused to look at him. She wasn't sure suddenly. Maybe it was a mistake. That's the easy way out it appears. He needs to know though. She cleared her throat and looked dead at him, "I had known this girl who used me for games. I would talk to her. Tell her all my secrets. I trusted her. Its just... just hard for me to tell anything. I don't know what's going on between us and it all sounds too good to seem real. Its nearly perfect. I believed it was with Ellen. I thought that she could help me. I thought I didn't have to be so scared. I thought talking about things and having people listen... maybe that's what it takes. What it took in this case was for her to turn her back on me when I needed faith. She told me to stay alive until the day I was gonna leave to go live with her. She betrayed me badly. She told me to give her a call if I was OK. Well, I wasn't. When I called her, she didn't answer me."

Once I was a prisoner
Lost inside myself
With the world surrounding me
Wandering through the misery
But now I am free...

She paused and cleared her throat continuing, "I used to obsess about wanting to know why. I figured that closure would save a part of me. I contacted her out of desperate alternatives. She had gotten mad at me. She kept repeating "don't do this" and "don't make me do this." That's when she started coming at me like it was my fault. Mom had yelled and screamed at her mom. I still can't believe she got mad at me for what she did. She actually has the audacity to tell me she cried for not "helping" me. Worthless bitch. I haven't been able to trust anyone since her... well until Brittany. She barely listens to me though. Uh..."

She spaced for a second gathering her thoughts. What the hell was he thinking about? She had to know. She touched his hand not without connecting with slight sparks. He shook his head and stared at her hand. His eyes scanned the child of that hand. Everything it resembled he wanted to breathe from. Without looking at her, he closed his eyes bringing that hand he loved to his lips. A gentle press was ignited. It was shivering the further it went from warmth. The softest touch was spawned. It gratified his spirit. He felt innocent once again. He never wanted to lose it.

You gave me a breath of life
Unclouded my eyes
With sweet serenity
Lighting a ray of hope for me...
And now I am free...

She was his angel and he was proud to know how strong she was... still is. His eyes opened and moved to the spot that was staring so... oddly. Worried eyes pierced his soul and he knew it was time. He know all was in the past. People can have that certain... knowing. He knew. My god! There it is! Say it! Know it! Believe in her like she does in you. Save her from cold unfeeling light. She doesn't know how to feel. She doesn't understand yet. Tell her!

It was so hard though. Hard because he's afraid. The first time he said it, something inside him didn't work. It was as if he were saying it to better himself. He was selfish. He knew this. He always had. He just can't. Its not right to her. His head snapped out when the phone rang. He looked at it and breathed out.

"Hold on," he told her as he went to answer it.

She nodded and fell back against the bed. She was still so tired. She got just barely 4 hours of rest last night because she kept on waking up and was afraid to fall asleep. Madison was still alive and that left Keira with no options.

She feels this is beyond a burden for him to grasp. She can see it in his eyes. He was struggling with the words. He was going to kick her out. Her hands came over her eyes and everything went dark. Its been that way for quite some time. It was so easy for everyone else. Well, it was sort of. She knew growing up she had it bad. Many others have it worse. She kept telling herself. Time... time. That's where all the answers lie. Through the course of time, things could've changed. Was it a mistake to keep going this long? Where was she to go anyway? She doesn't really fit. You really can't choose your parents.

She looked over at him saying a quiet good-bye and hung up. He stood there for a few moments until he shook his head and turned over to Keira. She sat up brushing her hair from her eyes as he came gently over and sat next to her feet on the bed. If this was nervous, she really couldn't define the word. It was too damn quiet. She had to do something.

She cleared her throat sloppily, "Uhm, everything OK?"

Suddenly Frankinstein was alive. At the sound of her voice he turned to face her with a tight assuring smile, "Yeah, listen I have to tell you something?"

She raised her right eyebrow, "Yes?"

"Right, uh, this couldn't come at better time but it did. Whoo, here we go... Mom's coming over." he let out an uneven breathe.

Her body reacted faster than her as she lapped out the bed in anguish and headed for the bathroom trying to close to the door but a foot held it in place.

"Keira, what is it?"

Of everything he has to ask that? "She's coming. She's coming for me!"

"Who is?"

She gritted her teeth trying to close the door with her strength, "You just said."

"Yeah, I said my mother's coming, its ok. I knew you'd react a little this way. She insisted on coming."

"Huh?" she stopped pushing the door closed and starred.

"My mom is coming over in about 30 minutes from now and she just called to let me know she might be late."

Keira actually breathed some air. "Oh God, it was your mom."

"Aw, sweetie, I didn't know you took it that way, come here." he reached his arms out to her.

She welcomed herself inside his embrace, sqeezing tightly. "Sorry."

"No sorrys here. My mistake. But, hey are you cool with mom coming here?"

Maybe not all mom's are Madison. Obviously, without meeting the woman, Justin knows how to take care of one. Didn't seem like it could do any harm to her. Sure.

She picked up her head and stared in his eyes, "OK."

"Great, she's coming in half in hour. Your clothes are downstairs and I'm gonna hop in the shower. See ya in a few." he naturally pulled away and walked out no with hearing her voice.

His head turned around, "Yeah?"

What could she possibly say to this man? That will always be the question embedded in her mind. She looked up with a smile, "If your mother is anything like you are to me, than I'll love her."

She ran up and concluded a kiss to his cheek, "I mean every word. Thank you for making me free."

Free to live
Free to laugh
Free to soar
Free to shine
Free to give
Free to love
Free enough to fly

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