Chapter 3: The First Cut Is the Deepest

Ella fiddled with her pen and stuck the end tip in her mouth. A habit she picked up and refused to quit since she was 8. Glancing around her room all she could think about was Josh and what he told her. Was it even possible? Did she get everything? Marriage is something of a touchy subject with Ella. Friends are more important than a contract binding “forever.” Or something of that nature.

She leaned over onto her side, trying desperately to concentrate on the color black but… nothing. She barely slept the last 4 nights. She managed to avoid Josh every chance she had and he was always around now even more. It scared her more than she’d like to admit. Mel knew all too well what she was doing.

It was disguisting the way those freaks “clicked.” Josh didn’t seem like her lap dog in the beginning. He was kind of one of those really hot geeks. Like if Buddy Holly was actually eye candy. Very clean, too clean to be considered given a side glance. Ella fell for him before Mel laid paws on him. She believed he held a certain way about him that no one else she saw had. He was different. Her type, 9 years her senior wasn’t much of an issue. She never told anyone this, there was no one to tell, she accepted her Andrea Zuckerman heritage long ago. She didn’t mind if she was perceived as the “immaculate” type, least she was smart. Usually people that smart have something to hide. She had a lot to hide. Minus the living in the ghetto part.

Josh never saw her that way. Ella wasn’t sure if he noticed her at all. Ella remembered one time where they in one of their many “break-ups” simply for show she’d never seen Mel so desperate to keep someone strung along so needingly. It’s not like she was the monogamous type, everyone knows who she really is. Beautiful people usually have a heart the size of a peas; if they’re lucky, grapes. It’s funny how those clichés spring true, she thought to herself.

Josh was a complex person. Ella knew from the start. She should have stayed quiet and not get involved as she did but it was completely impossible. Emotionally, She wasn’t sure how strong her feelings were but nowadays, all bets are off. Unfortunately she feels again, stronger than before.

He wants to get married. He wants to sign himself off so soon. AND, what perplexes the situation further was that he told Ella instead of making up his own god damn mind. She never felt so lost as she feels right now. It’s one of those angered mindsights where you can barely stray from it.

She pushed the bottoms of her palms into her eyes. She didn’t know what she was going to do. Tears she barely recognized peaked on the corners of her eyes. Crying was something she didn’t have time for. She was annoyed with this. These thoughts… Being what they are, she tries to keep herself in check. The backs of her hands rest gently upon her forehead and her eyes focus on the ceiling.

She checked her watch and squeezed her eyes shut. It was 2 and she could only stay in bed for so long. She didn’t have work today, luckily. Today was predominately going to be about sleep and rejuvenating but is that really necessary? She knew if she got out of bed she’d have to deal with him and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to even see him.

Yes, she was avoiding him. It was hard to hide, she knows she has to get over it. She was awakes suddenly by the door slamming open--

“Where is it? Did you take it, God!” The screech of the monkey sounded her sedative eardrums.

Ella smacked her forhead in a dastard manner, “Make it go away, Lord if you can hear me?”

“Oh please, quit it already. Now where is it? Josh is waiting and shit! I know that you took it. You take everything from me.”

Ella strangely was deciding to care, figuring it be the only way to “make it cease,” “What’s your beef? What did I not take from you?”

Mel whirled around and searched Ella’s closet ramaging about, “You know what you--there it is. Found it!” she pushed past her sister carrying a really lavish, dark blue butterfly clip and fastened her hair in a brash rush.

Ella narrowed her eyes, reaching to grab at her, “Hey, you can’t use that!”

She pulled from her, heading for the door, “No its not and you know it.”

“Don’t I? I remember Dad getting that for me last year for my birthday. It never was yours. You always do this shit. Everything is not yours Mel, even Josh.”

That was odd. She didn’t expect to say much of it. Truthfully, Ella believes he doesn’t know what he feels and he’s afraid of something. Mel’s a not so bright kind of gal, she probably wouldn’t notice, so she hoped.

“That’s light a joke, right? Who cares what you think. I’d love to continue this delightful convo but I must leave before I care too hard. I’ll be with my boyfriend so you can stop the ogling already now. He was always mine because he loves me.”

Ella shook her head silently letting all slide, its impossible to say what’s really going on anymore. It’s true, sort of, what she’s getting at. They’re together. She didn’t hear Mel leaving until she heard the stomping downstairs and that disguisting display of inhuman saccharine indecency, the shitty kind.

She walked to her window, placing her palms onto the sides. Thinking about Josh brought on stress. Again, she curled up in entrapment. Alone. Punished for being the person on the other side. The 4 days that went by her since he told her what chilled her dreams. Her sister will be getting married before her.

Big fucking deal.

“Oh shit, Kyle, would you get that box for me. Your mom’s inside, just put it in her room. You staying for dinner, tonight?” a man’s deep voice boomed outside her window.

She crept to the window and raised an eyebrow.

“Not sure. Taking a break from work now so I guess. Here let me get it inside first.” another guy with golden brown hair took a box from the first man’s grip into the house next door. He looked tired as if the day bored him. She couldn’t get over the fact that he was ripped like a Pitt copycat.

New neighbors? How did she miss this? Like it was that hard it figure. She pursed her lips out, “Cute.”

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