Chapter 11: I Can't

"Well, Justin doesn't have that many friends that are girls. I just find it a little interesting you guys are friends."

"We ARE friends. He's my best friend. Nothing more. If you got a problem with that, its really your problem."

Cameron got in her face, "You think you scare me. You're just jealous and you know it."

"Get out of my face now! I will not have you disrespect me when you know nothing about me."

"Oh, I know nothing? How about this? Washed up broken-down girl pining for someone she will never have? Stalking him cause you think you got a chance, oh dream on sweetie. But for me its millions of cash, clothes, the hottest man in the world. You wish you could get a man like that. You are jealous. You're just a jealous, sad bitch!"

Melana slapped her hard across her cheek, "I don't care what you say. Your words are nothing and your heart is black. I just hope Justin is smart enough to see what kind of a girlfriend you really are," she ran upstairs to her room and slammed the door.

She heard a soft knock, "What?!" she screamed.

Justin opening the door, "Can I come in?"

She sighed, "Why?"

"Because I want us to be friends again. Please?"

"Whatever," she turned her back to him laying down on the bed.

"Come on. Look at me. Please look at me."

"No."

"Please, we both know you want to. You've been dying to stare into these eyes all day. I know you."

She smirked while turning to look at him, "Confuse me?"

"You. Want. Me. I want me too its OK." he smiled.

"Than hope in the shower and take care of it."

He lunged at her, grabbing her arms, and pinning them to her sides, "Wanna join me?"

"Um, no. Girlfriend or did you forget?"

"Nope. Why do you think they call me trousersnake?"

"I don't know really. I don't care all that much. Its your life."

"You don't care a little bit? What if it was you? Would you sleep with me?"

"Never. I'd never sleep with anyone."

"What? Why?" he released her and lay on his side facing her.

"I wanna be in love first. I don't want it to be wastrel. I want a man to love me before he takes away something I can never back."

I wanna be that man. Over and over again. "Sex should be special. If anyone comes near you or touches you I'll beat their ass."

She smiled, "Yeah, sure you will. You'll blind them with your country boy white skin. Get a tan, J."

He leaned his face so their nose were touching, "You find that sexy don't you? Its OK, you can tell me. Look at me and tell me I'm not attractive. Do it."

She sighed and sat up to examine his face. She pretended to take her time when she finally said, "You are not attractive."

"Come I'm being serious. My ego needs stroking. Honestly?"

"Yeah, honestly. Justin, you're not my type. Your chin is too big, don't even get me started on that shnoze, and you're teeth are way too big even for Bugs Bunny, your ears are way too large. Everything on you is big it seems."

"Baby, didn't know you felt that way. Wanna check if it really is that big?" his finger traced down her elbow sexily.

"God, everything is sex with you! I'm not prude but I'm surely not an addict! I was talking about everything above the south of the boarder. Get your head outta the gutter Mr. Horny."

"Hey, I'm offering you a chance to see me in my birthday suit and you shoot me down again? Can I be serious for a second?"

"Only if I get to be Melana, go ahead," she pinched his nose.

"Do you really see me as only a friend?"

"No, you're more than that of course."

He smiled, his heart racing, "Really, you really think that?"

"Yeah, I do. You're my best friend, you know. My very silly best friend. You are more than my friend, I confide in you and that's important."

"That's great, I'm happy that you're open up to me."

She giggled, "What'd you think I was gonna say?"

He shrugged, "Nothing."

Worth a shot. "I thought that you would reveal your real feelings for me so we can finally be together."

She was laughing really hard right now. She came and cuddled up next to him. Her hand resting on his chest, "We are together. NO one can take that away."

Not the way I want to be. "Yeah, you're right. No one can take you away from me. No one. You're mine."

Her head picked up a little to look in his eyes with a dazed stare, "I'll always be yours. What you say we fight tomorrow. Same bat time same bat channel?"

"If it will end with me holding you like this, than yes ma'am. I could stay like this forever."

"Me too." After a few moments, "Justin?" she asked weirdly.

"Yeah?"

"Um, is that what I umm... is that what it is?" she felt something hard pressed against her thigh.

He turned beet red. A few things weren't bound to be unnoticed. Dammit! "Oh god. I feel so bad."

"Its nothing bad its just, um wow, because of me? I did that?" she asked incredulously.

His hand came to her cheek, "Well, it certainly wasn't the chair." That husky voice came out.

"Oh god. This is... what is this? What's happening to us?"

His finger traced her top lip, "Whatever is going to happen."

Her breathing picked up slightly, "Justin, are you gonna kiss me?"

"Yeah."

She spoke the words of his soul, "What are you waiting for?"

He grinned widely as his lips crashed onto hers. His mouth left trails of tiny sensual kisses along her jaw, traveling down to her neck and he felt something had possessed his lips as they covered every inch of the delicate skin. He opened her buttoned up shirt and kissed between her breasts kissing his way down toward her navel and leaving slow kisses everywhere. His head came to hers as his lips slowly kissed hers. She could tell just by the way he's kissing that he has strong feelings for her. Beyond the lust she's feeling. its something deeper. She can't describe it really. God, he was telling her so much, she could barely keep up. She's never really kissed anyone in her life. His kisses were held too much passion in them so she followed his lead and did what he did. Than she realized, she was doing this out of lust, not feeling. No, stop him now! He wants sex and you're not ready. Stop it! Fight the those taunting lips of his. Push him away, you can do it. As she thought this, her eyes cried. Justin stopped his passionate kisses when he felt stiffness from her and looked her in the eyes, his lips so swollen she could see bruises.

"What is it? Did I hurt you? What's wrong?" his questions coming rapid fire.

As more tears came down she looked at him with weak eyes, "I can't fall in love. Excuse me," she crawled away from him and ran to the bathroom.

Once inside, she barricaded herself in the shower and turned on the water with her clothes on. She collapsed in the corner, crying gallons of the filth she felt. She did. She felt like dirt. Put on the spot. A lustful moron with no morals. What was she thinking? Giving into those words. Surrendering all faults to those amazing kisses. Her lips should be punished for betraying everything she had said she refused to do ever again. She cared about him, sure. She wasn't so sure if she had feelings for him. He has a girlfriend. Dammit, why can't he just NOT have one? I'm such a horrible person. Now, he hates me. I would.

"I can't fall in love with a heart that belongs to someone else. I just can't." Her head banged against the cold shower wall.

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