Drained.
There was nothing left to feel. She was tired. Dreaming of the old life
she touched before she touched him. Throwing the new and never turning back.
He was a thing of past now as she had boarded the plane with Mama. She took
her seat, closing her eyes. But NO, his face! She can't get rid of him for
a second. Just go away. Stop bothering me already! It wasn't meant to be.
While the plane was taxiing, she looked out the window. She almost regretted
what she did, than again. Why the fuck should she? What she do? She didn't
fuck up here. The only mistake she ever did was falling in love. Boy, did
she fall hard.
None of it really matter now. It was perfectly preordained to punish her
heart for some ungodly reason. Well, she sure as hell learned it. Don't fall
in love, you won't get hurt. How fricking hard was that shit? Not hard, but
than it was. She believed it was real. That it could happen to someone like
her. Well, back this lonely life. Well, it was lonely but it didn't break
her heart.
After 6 hours they had collected their bags and loaded them in a taxi.
Melana went home first. Her mom didn't dare question what happened. Obviously
this Justin had done something wrong and she found out. The best she could
do was comfort and love her.
She hugged and kissed Melana before she walked out, "I love you baby."
If it was that easy "I love you too." She dragged her roll on luggage up
the stoop and walked to her apartment.
She opened the door, tossed her keys on the table counter, and collapsed
on the couch abandoning her roll away suitcase. She heard her machine and
pressed the button.
She heard her voice before her messages played. What's up people? I'm currently
southern now, according to Mama. I'll be in Millington, TN through the New
Year with my grandma's friend so be ever so kind as to leave me one and I'll
get back to you when I wash the redneck out of me. Toodles!
Beep...
Sad dude, I feel you. Lana, you NEED to tell us about this guy ASAP. Tell
me what happened when you get this. Hasta.
Beep...
"Haha, I love ya so much. Dude, Amy just called me. What up with that shit?!
You've got to tell me about this guy. Peace." Stacey said.
Beep...
Lana, its Scott, change of plans, we're switching locations for a CD signing
in a week. No word on who the culprit is yet. It's in Studio City...
Her eyes shot up, "What the fuck?!"
...ok breath girl. I know what you're thinking. Gimmie a buzz when you
get back. Lata Roberts.
Beep...
She heard breathing. More breathing. Sounded like someone was being suffocated.
"Who is this?" she asked the machine.
The line went dead...
Odd. She looked on her caller ID and it read private. "What the fuck is
going on?"
Soon there were 5 more calls that sounded like that. She got scared. Who
would do that? The doorbell rang loudly. She got up and opened the door. There
was no one there. Her head looked around as she stepped on something. She
looked down and noticed a white envelope. She picked it up as she closed the
door behind her. She opened it and took out a handwritten letter written in
all caps. Her eyebrows crossed as she began to read.
Lana-
Meet me in front of work in 30 minutes. I need to talk to you.
-Scott
"OK, now this is getting weird. Why would he do this?" she shook her head
as she got up to get cleaned up. "Only one way to find out."
30 minutes later, she got changed and drove to her worked scratching her
head all the while. This was so not Scott. Something was wrong though. The
way this was planned didn't seem right. Scott would never be ambiguous. He
was never shy or secretive. Something was up. She parked in her spot as she
looked around in the dark. She stood in front of the store and blew a breath
of boredom. What did he want? Wait a minute, how did he know she was home?
He didn't. It was somebody else. Somebody who knew she was home. Scott didn't
know. "Oh, no, it wasn't Scott, it was..."
"I love you Melana." God, that voice seem to cut her right up. He had some
nerve.
Her face whipped to stared into those eyes she used to love, "Fuck you!
How dare you follow me you asshole!"
"I don't care anymore what people will think. I'm not afraid anymore. God,
I know this is not the perfect time or place but you should know how I really
feel. You asked me that, remember? I'm telling you now. I've been in love
with you ever since I saw you in that club. I love you Lana."
She gave him an angry push, "You don't deserve those words or feelings!
You had your chance and you fucked up. I don't ever want to see you again!"
"I'll go wherever you as long as it takes. I wanted to spend the rest of
my life with since the moment I saw you. I'm deeply in love with you."
She laughed pathetically, "What do want me to say, huh Justin? Tell me?
You want me to fucking feel for you so you don't feel bad about yourself?
Right now, I can't stand the sight of you and it makes me want to vomit."
He shook his head, "You can't mean that. You just can't. I know you love
me too. I know you feel it, in here," his hand touched her heart.
She sniffed back a sob, "D-Don't make me hate you more. I--I can't--" His
mouth covered hers in pure unconditional emotion.
She didn't fight back for she somehow knew this was the last taste she
would get. Even though it was a clear lie. She indulged in it. Welcomed the
wrong. It was wrong, but it felt so true and real. It let her mind fly and
never want to land. Yes, she was and still is in love. He just can't know.
She cannot trust herself with his ways. She cries cause he seems to hurt.
She can never live in that pain anymore. It's for the best.
He pulled away on his own vocation and pressed his ear to her chest, "Tell
me your heart isn't beating because you don't love me. Tell me Lana. I need
to know."
Her body shook as the cries visual came. "It's not. I don't love you. I
have to go."
He hugged her body for dear life, crying his bottled feelings for his love,
"I love you. Don't just leave. This can't be over, I mean no it can't BE over.
Tell me...please tell me..." he broke down in her arms
'I can't tell him I love him. I can't. He needs to be free.' "How come
it is?" her small voice floated away for the last time as she ran to her
car and turned on the engine as the last words of her life sang the true
statement of her heart.
When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open my hands
And watch you rise
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
I can't pretend these tears
Aren't over flowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say good-bye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
So flutter through the sky
Butterfly
Just fly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
The End
(Author's Note: Hey everyone! I just want to say a huge thank you to
everyone who read it. Means a lot to me. It's my first completed story. You
actually thought I'd leave it at that did ya? Let's just say there are more
things to say about these two crazy kids. Thanks again! Peace and Love!
Don't forget to click on the link to continue the story!)